Batteries Feel Included came up with some new emoticons:

__&__     ”I’ve fallen on the ice and I can’t get up.”
H_O_H     ”There’s a boulder on the rugby pitch. Someone call the police!”
~~\o/~~     ”I see a drowning man, but I can’t swim, so he will have to drown.”
>-ii-< iiii     "Go fetch mother, a giant crab is attacking the penguins."
~n=n”- IIIII     ”There’s a wolf at my door and my house is made of sticks. What the hell was I thinking?”

More emoticons here. Other noteworthy posts worth reading over there are 307 (about mail tiles), 306 (about fixing sports) and 309 (about time travel). There are probably more good ones, but I have work to do so you’ll have to find them on your own.